These last few months have brought a lot of change to my life. New city, new school, new house, new job, new friends…. It’s been fun, exciting, adventurous, and challenging. Thus far, this season in my life has not been at all like I expected it to be, but still, I know that it’s good. And so, these are just my thoughts along this journey that God is guiding me on.
Recently, someone said something to me that felt like cold water thrown in my face. “Kristen, you don’t know who you are.” Um, excuse me, yes, I do! I’m not a kid anymore. I’ve graduated from Bible school. Heck, I’m still in Bible school so I can help other people with problems like that. Ridiculous. And then I burst into tears. (if you’ve known me for any length of time, you know that’s not an uncommon occurrence haha) I burst into tears because I realized this person was right. I don’t know who I am. I know what I’m called to, for the most part. I know what I’m good at, I know my personality type, I know my love language, I know my favorite pair of jeans (some really great AG bootcuts that I got for the miraculous price of $20). But who I am has absolutely nothing to do with any of that.
It’s been a hard realization: who I am is absolutely not derived from what I do. In the past I’ve put a lot of stock in what I do, and how I look to other people. I’ve spent a lot of time and energy guarding my reputation, and been really upset when other people messed that up for me. (“pride” is what you call that, friends) So when all of a sudden everything I love doing and everyone who knows what I do are 200 miles away, I felt a little bare, and more than a little insecure. Cue the lights, cue the curtain, because the stage has been set for God to speak to me!
We humans like to evaluate people in relation to other people. One person’s value is determined by the amount of strengths or weaknesses they possess in comparison to the guy at the next table over. But that’s not what the Bible says. The Bible always defines and evaluates humanity in relation to God. That means several things for you and I. First, we have all failed miserably. Second, God knows that we failed miserably, but for some crazy reason far beyond my comprehension, He loved us enough to provide us with a substitute, Jesus Christ. Christ, in His perfection, was now the one voluntarily being charged with our failure. And so now (third thing), for those that accept this most precious of all gifts, Christ, in His perfection, takes our place in the comparison to God. And the meaning of THAT, friends, is remarkable, astounding, astonishing, and more than any other word I could borrow from thesaurus.com. Who am I? (And who are you?) I am a child of God Almighty. I am redeemed. I am rescued, saved, forgiven, valued, precious, and most of all, I am loved. Loved. LOVED!
I must confess that I know who I am, but sometimes I still don’t know who I am. I’m working on believing the Lord on that one. And so, my friends, I’ll leave you with this. Who you are is not what you do. Who you are is who God says you are. Let’s learn to live that.